Oh, if un-depressing myself merely required me thinking about my life sans depression and believing I can live a life free of depression! Manifesting is straight from the scary stories told in the dark after midnight to unsuspecting cousins in rural Oklahoma gathered for a family reunion: Stand in front of a mirror in a dark bathroom and yell, “Bloody Mary!” three times to manifest a heroic underdog villainized throughout history as a monstrous, murdering ghost.
There are many a sapphic women into manifestation, believing in the Law of Attraction. I don’t believe in the happenstance of if-I-believe-it-hard-enough-it-will-happen.
The same ideology is applied religious prayer, often used to hurt people experiencing mental illness and/or those identifying as not heterosexual.
The Law of Attraction implies toxic positivity is the only path and that negativity bears no place.
If science fiction and fantasy has taught us anything, it’s that the universe always finds a balance. Batteries require positive/negative charge to actually work.
Inside Out illustrates the importance of healthy negativity in 102 minutes.
I grew up being told that I needed to smile and fake happiness even if I didn’t feel like smiling anyway and faking happiness because men prefer women who are happy. Um…except it’s all fake? And then we wonder why, pray tell, does someone do more than just flip a table over that one trivial thing that was the last straw. Oh, snap(ped)!
I practice the art of altering my influence bubble.
If it triggers me in an unhealthy way that is not best for healing, out it goes.
I spend a lot of time hacking the algorithm from my point of view — liking and commenting on many posts about a topic on Instagram or TikTok so I’ll see more of those things, for example. I don’t enjoy many things my Facebook friends post, but it doesn’t mean I want them out of my life.
As always, there are exceptions — like if/when someone supports the MAGA/Antifa movement. I hold lenience for particular family members, because I have some semblance of hope that they will one day see the err of their ways — even though they bear the same for me…nice conundrum that is.